I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
