Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
