K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
