It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
