I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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