No stitches, just platelets and will power
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
