Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My ass is underappreciated
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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