JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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