I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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