So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
