i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She bit a glass in half.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
