I love black thongs
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
