at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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