Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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