OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
