i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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