Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
