This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
