oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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