porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Actions speak louder than pants.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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