I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
