why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
