I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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