I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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