Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
