They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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