If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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