if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
