Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize