Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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