and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
