I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
