I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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