i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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