he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
