2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
