were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
