I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
ok first of all what the fuck
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
