We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
