Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
