I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize