K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
