Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
