try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
