I bet he comes in French.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
