Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
