My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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