so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
