If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
