How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
