Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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