Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
