Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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