No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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