I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
