i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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