i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
