you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
