that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
