I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
