He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
