oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
