You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
