That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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