So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Everything about him screamed your future.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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