it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Drake has all the answers
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize