Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
