Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do herpes really smell.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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