do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
