What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
