1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm bleeding and have questions
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
