I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
